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tired, bored, lonely

Journal Entry: Tue Oct 31, 2006, 2:34 PM
it has come to my attention i have no friends in real life at all anymore

i got so lonely yesterday i messaged my ex, but that ended up making me depressed as hell

ive started doing a small amount of exercise this week, its opened my eyes to how unfit i really am, i suppose ill have to keep it up, in the interests of impressing a female soon

as much as humans want to think theyre above the animals, public displays of beauty/strength/power etc are what gets you a "mate"

lately ive been thinking a lot about death and the existence/non-existence of the afterlife, its really freaking me out to be honest, i dont really like the idea of slipping into nothingness, and i cant bring myself to believe in a god

ive also been examining myself and found theres really nothing inside me anymore, no spark, just nothing, i float from day to day without remembering what ive done or where ive been

i think whatever or whoever i was is gone, this leaves me with two paths, reinvent myself, or die

the choice seems simple, yet im having trouble with it.

  • Mood: Anguish
  • Listening to: Seraphim Shock - Some Sick Dream
  • Playing: World Of Warcraft
  • Drinking: Coffee

Devious Information

  • Current Age: 22
  • Current Residence: Lismore, NSW, Australia
  • Interests: guitar, photoshop, winamp, music :D
  • Favourite movie: Family Guy Movie
  • Favourite band or musician: Trivium
  • Favourite genre of music: Heavy Metal
  • Favourite poet or writer: George R R Martin
  • Favourite photographer: Cinderalla
  • Operating System: Windows XP Pro sp2
  • MP3 player of choice: Winamp
  • Wallpaper of choice: some random crap, i formatted and lost all my cool ones
  • Favourite game: WoW
  • Favourite gaming platform: PC
  • Favourite cartoon character: Stewie Griffin
  • Personal Quote: monkey see and monkey do, evolution was never true
  • Tools of the Trade: Photoshop CS2, Dreamweaver MX 2004, Pad + Pencil

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Devious Comments

=nikefan1988:iconnikefan1988: Jun 9, 2007, 4:47:06 AM
tag you're it

:D

--
.dustinbaines


Don't Click
~BandGeek9723:iconBandGeek9723: Aug 7, 2006, 11:53:52 PM
hi

--
"Look, I have magic powers :meditate:"
"That's crap, this is a real power :teleport:"
"Well, I have a cool Katana :katana:"
:jedi:
"That's it, Matrix Fight!" :matrixfight:
"Are you done now?"
"Oww..." :dead:
join Lost [link]
~Cinderalla:iconCinderalla: Mar 19, 2006, 4:09:00 AM
thanks for the comments on my page, and for adding me to your friends list =D thanks a heap

--
Cinderalla's on Strike....so kiss my arse and clean your own mess BeArch's....
`tExTuReMaTtIc:icontExTuReMaTtIc: Mar 7, 2006, 12:29:53 PM
Thanks for the fav!!!
~Cinderalla:iconCinderalla: Feb 26, 2006, 4:29:28 PM
i totally agree... there is noting and no one here.... I mean i was ment to show my boyfriend around lismore but really whats to see? This town has nothing, its a depressing shit whole. The only reason i stay is for those few amazing people in my life who live here.
Anyway its good to see lismore has bored you enough to produce art =D

--
Cinderalla's on Strike....so kiss my arse and clean your own mess BeArch's....
~C-e-r-b-e-r-u-s:iconC-e-r-b-e-r-u-s: Feb 24, 2006, 4:02:13 AM
lol i think this area may be... uninspiring and people turn to art/music etc to keep occupied i guess
~Cinderalla:iconCinderalla: Feb 23, 2006, 2:29:18 PM
not a problem i compleatly forgot even commenting lol..
its cool that your from lismore, such a small place you dont exect to come across people from lismore on here, well i dont but i surprisinly have come across a few people from around the area... its good to see such a variety of talents too :)

--
Cinderalla's on Strike....so kiss my arse and clean your own mess BeArch's....
~C-e-r-b-e-r-u-s:iconC-e-r-b-e-r-u-s: Feb 21, 2006, 1:38:03 AM
yes, really from lismore, sorry for the late reply, i havent been around much
~Cinderalla:iconCinderalla: Jan 5, 2006, 4:23:20 PM
Hey your stuff's pretty cool. very interesting.
are you really from lismore?
small world if you are..
~superjamiedotnet:iconsuperjamiedotnet: Aug 12, 2005, 6:09:02 PM
wow, i didn't know people around here had so much talent!
keep up the good work :)
~Grinspoon:iconGrinspoon: Jan 26, 2005, 4:11:42 AM
Yes!!!

Grinspoon started in lismore!!!

YOU SHOULD join the grinspoon fan club!!!

:peace:

--
<< Are you a Grinspoon Fan? >>

Visit the club --> ~Grinspoon

:headbang:
~homesick-alien:iconhomesick-alien: Dec 14, 2004, 2:52:19 AM
neighbours

--
In the blur of serenity
Where did everything get lost?
The flowers of naiveté
Buried in a layer of frost
*darkviolet:icondarkviolet: Oct 25, 2004, 7:22:13 PM
:blackrose: for your words.. and the fave of Dear
[and actually.. is has already been saturated slightly in ps..]

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"...I hope you choke to death on lumps of stars..."
~anaemic-n-sweet:iconanaemic-n-sweet: Oct 12, 2004, 5:29:50 AM
hey, i kno you ;) its nat - hey, you should kno da sucks...

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irrelevant
~everythings-eventual:iconeverythings-eventual: Oct 7, 2004, 7:06:19 PM
Thankyou for the :+fav: on my stock :)
(i'm too lazy to sign on there)

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~Fabioshinji:iconFabioshinji: Sep 20, 2004, 11:40:09 AM
Thank´s for the favorite!!! Welcome to DA!!
~Riboq:iconRiboq: Sep 20, 2004, 6:42:40 AM
Hey! Did I thank for the :+fav:? No? So I'll do this now :D THANK YOU VERY MUCH :boogie: I'm happy that you like it :) :thanks:
!erase-me:iconerase-me: Sep 18, 2004, 5:56:46 PM
hhoho thanks for the fav
*Apophysis:iconApophysis: Sep 18, 2004, 1:45:02 PM
Thanks for the :+fav: :!: :)

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The Community for Fractal Flames Lovers!!!

Apophysis Member Info
~Lukeonia1:iconLukeonia1: Sep 17, 2004, 9:21:43 PM
Yes, thanks for the :+fav: ! :D

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I need something to put in my sig.... :-o
~NeuralCord:iconNeuralCord: Sep 17, 2004, 12:10:54 PM
Thanks for the :+fav: :D

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Minolta owners do it thrice a day! - we're now rarer than Nikon and Canon that's why! :P
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~Minolta *Photocritique *OneClickPhoto ~FilmPhotographers
*LanWu:iconLanWu: Sep 17, 2004, 8:18:13 AM
thanx for the fav! :D

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find more my artworks at Isle of Damned -Revived beautifully!- Some page isn't ready yet
~Arioch-of-Chaos:iconArioch-of-Chaos: Sep 16, 2004, 6:43:10 PM
Welcome to DA! Thanks for the fav.
Hope to see more of your work soon.

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you seem so out of context in this gaudy apartment complex, the stranger with your door key, explaining that i am just visiting. and i am finally seeing why i was the one worth leaving.